Today I was knocked on my feet. I don’t know what happened, but as I washed my face after a nice run, I began praying the Lord’s Prayer in my own terms. Then, I gathered my things to start my time with my Lord, and was smacked in the face with His power and glory. Here are the unedited words of my written prayer I composed with tears falling (quite like a gushing river) down my face:
Who am I that you desire to know me?? I have been hurting lately by what I describe as a lack of quality relationships and friendships, I hurt from the tiredness of feeling like I’m doing life alone. But who am I that the creator of everything longs to know me? To be my friend? To be my best relationship? Who am I? I get down because I feel sad for a lack of relationships when the God of this universe is trying to show me Himself, trying to get to know me. What do I have to bring? Lord, I have nothing. If anything, I bring you sin and struggles. I bring you no good gift. I have only brokenness to bring you. And even so, you embrace me, call me loved, call me beautiful, and you make me brand new. The rest of the world has slipped away in this moment as I feel you speaking to my heart. Highest God, You love me. I am in shock of that statement; disbelief overwhelms me. And although you desire to be my All, to be enough to satisfy all of me, you still care about that desires that I pour out to You, my struggles that I make such a big deal, my longings here on earth. Lord, I stand in awe and I bow in reverence. Forgive me for nailing You to that cross with my continued sin, and Lord forgive me for throwing insult in Your face by telling you, through my actions and my prayers for more in life, that you are not enough. How, oh Father, You could love a sinner like me, I will never understand. Thank you for pursuing me with reckless abandon. Lord, may my life echo this pursuit towards you. I fall at your feet, thankful for this moment, in awe that you are faithful to pursue my brokenness. May my life be a beautiful gift to be used by you. Thank you, Lord and Savior. I love you; help me to live it. Amen.
I write this in vulnerability, to encourage you brothers and sisters.
God wants you.
He wants to be known by you. He wants to know you.
Watch this video of Louie Giglio discussing how whales and stars may be praising God. Then sing along with Chris Tomlin and praise him. Praise him for being God and for nothing else.